Nudge, nudge, wink, wink, say no more Mr Eytukahn
by Hoplite39
Summary: Eytukahn suspects that Jake may be having an intimate relationship with Neytiri. He decides to speak to Jake. There is one thing Eytukahn needs to find out...


DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN AVATAR OR MONTY PYTHON.

THIS STORY IS HEAVILY INFLUENCED BY A COUPLE OF SCENES FROM MONTY PYTHON. SINCE EVERYONE IS SO OUT OF CHARACTER TO FIT WITH THE SCENE, I DECIDED CLASSING IT AS A CROSSOVER IS APPROPRIATE IN THIS CASE.

Since Jake joined the Na'vi, Eytukahn was beginning to sense that Jake and Neytiri were getting close. Then a couple of days after Jake became one with the people, Eytukahn saw that Neytiri was sitting giggling on Jake's lap. Eytukahn realised that the relationship between his daughter and Jake may be getting serious and so decided to speak to Jake about it.

Eytukahn approached the giggling couple. Jake was sitting on a rock, while Neytiri was sitting on Jake's lap. Both Jake and Neytiri ignored him smooching and fondling each other unashamedly.

Eytukahn cleared his throat to grab Jake's attention. Jake looked up at Eytukahn grinning as Neytiri kissed Jake's neck.

"Good day, Mr Jakesully. " Said Eytukan formally. "I would like to speak to you about my daughter."

"Phwooaarr! Your daughter." Jake grinned, pinching Neytiri's buttock. Neytiri squeeled and then hit Jake playfully giggling.

"I get the feeling from that you may already be pursuing an intimate relationship with my daughter." Said Eytukan.

"Phwoarrr! An intimate relationship." Said Jake winking at Eytukahn. "Whoarrr! Nudge. Nudge, wink, wink, say no more. Yes, indeed, Mr Eytukan. That's a subtle way of putting it. Phwoarrr! "

"Mmm. I suspected as much." Said Eytukahn sternly. "I hope you are looking after my dear daughter, Mr Jakesully."

"Phwoarr! Don't worry about that." Replied Jake. "I'll give her a good looking-after, if you know what I mean, Mr Etukahn. Phwoarr!"

"As you know, Mr Sully, my daughter is a very beautiful..." Continued Eytukahn.

"Phwoaaarrrrrrr! Just look at the hot sexy stunner." Said Jake leering at Neytiri."Phwoarrr! Makes me drool and slaver just looking at the foxy little minx. Phwoarr! "

"...and intelligent girl."

"Phwoarrrr! You're telling me, Mr Eytukahn." Grinned Jake maliciously. "Your daughter was certainly using her intelligence on me last night at the Tree of Voices, if you know what I mean. Phwoaaarrrrr!"

"And I hope you appreciate her, Mr Jakesully."

"Phwoarrrr! You can depend on that, sir. Phwoarr! I have an enormous appreciation for your daughter, if you know what I mean." Jake made a movement with his hips causing Neytiri to squeal and jump up in surprise. "Phwoarr! And it's getting bigger even now when I think about what I will do to her later. Phwoaaarr!"

Neytiri sat back on Jakes lap and slapped him playfully on the shoulder giggling.

"Because I am concerned that some young men may be tempted to abuse her affection." Said Eytukahn with a concerned expression on his face.

"Phwoarr! That's not the only thing they'd want to abuse. Phwoarrrrr!." Jake tickled Neytiri causing her to giggle and squeal as she wriggle in excitement.

"So I trust that you will you will show the required respect and kindness to my daughter, My Jakesully."

"Phwoarrrr! You can depend on that, sir. I'll be giving her some respect tonight. Phwoarrrr!" Grinned Jake making vulgar thrusting motions with his fist. "And she can't get enough of my enormous kindness, if you get my drift. Phwoarrrr!"

"...And I presume that you will honour my daughter in her position as Princess in the Omaticaya Clan." Enquired Eytukahn.

"Phwoarrr! Don't worry about that, Mt Eytukahn. Phwoarrr!" Said Jake winking excessively. "Princess, missionary, front, back, top, bottom, upside-down, 69, spoons. Phwoarr! I've already honoured her in every position possible, Mr Eytukahn. Phwoarr!"

"Mmmm. Now I trust that you see my daughter, Mr Jakesully."

"Phwoarr! You can definitely trust me to give her a good seeing to, Mr Eytukan." Said Jake nudging Eytukahn with his elbow. "Know what I mean? Phwoarr!"

"So if you don't mind, there is one service I would ask you to do for me." Said Eytukahn.

"Phwoarr! You want me to service another one of your daughters. Mr Eytukahn." Jake winked complicitly and nudged Eytukahn again with his elbow. "Phwoarrrr!That's no problem for the Jakemeister. I can take them all at once. Phwoaarr! I'm sure your daughter here won't mind."

Jake slapped Neytiri on the buttocks. Neytiri giggled and buried her head in Jake's neck.

"Now, I suspect that you have mated for life with my daughter." Said Eytukahn.

Jake stopped fondling Neytiri and looked up at Eytukahn with a serious and suspicious expression on his face. "Maybe..."

"And I see that you're obviously a man of the world, Mr Sully." Continued Eytukan."And you have obviously...er...known many Skypeople women."

"Yes...perhaps."

"So I just wanted to ask one thing, if you know what I mean." Said Eytukahn nudging Jake and winking. "Nudge, nudge, wink, wink, say no more."

"Mmmm? What exactly are you getting at, Mr Eytukahn?"

"So what was it like then? You know. With the Skywomen. Nudge, nudge, wink, wink. Say no more."

"How dare you, sir." Said Jake sternly standing up and taking Neytiri formally by the hand. "I resent the insinuations that you are making, Mr Eytukahn. And in front of your innocent sweet daughter too. What sort of man do you take me for? You should be ashamed of yourself, Mr Eytukahn."

Jake stormed off leading Neytiri by the hand behind him.


End file.
